It's December, and I missed sending a newsletter last month. November was a whirlwind, filled with events, leaving me little time to sit and write. Life moves fast, and sometimes you just need a moment to process!
As a child, I dreamt of being a singer and performer, inspired by a diverse range of sounds – from Alanis Morisette to Britney Spears, Pearl Jam to Spice Girls. Always more than one thing, I cyclically changed my life as my tastes, a pattern perhaps more universal than we realise.
I learned memory choreographies and songs from everyone, juggling studies in Greek and Latin alongside professional gymnastics. I started to study singing and solfège at the Conservatory pretty late. Then, MTV disappeared, and time grew scarce, but the dream lingered. It took years of singing, working backstage, a stint at university, a job at the notary office, and a dramatic experience in a touristic village to realize I had to pursue my passion.
Despite family disapproval, I made my coming out: I don't want to study and work; I want to sing. "You'll end up living under bridges", my mom said. My father didn't talk to me for a month (the same when I did the belly piercing or the nose one). I was almost 20. But I needed change. I needed to feel I was taking the reins of my life.
Then I understood nothing can be achieved alone. I was fortunate to find my vocal coach Pamela, who told me everything she knew about singing, performance, interpretation, theatre moves, and much more. And Max, my current manager and life-changing person who is still by my side after 14 years!
Almost 7 years ago, we got an opportunity and went to Berlin to shoot a video of a song that was supposed to be my big launch. The first producer of Dua Lipa made the production, so it was done. I would have had the same bright career! We shot in various locations in Berlin, and I was this very sexy pop star with a body very much sucked up to my ass, high heels, protruding lips, and fake eyelashes. If I see myself now doing that, in a way I feel sorry, but on the other side, still lucky, because I experienced it. I didn't have to speak. To Max, though, he understood by just looking at me. He told me, "Do you want to be known as an artist for your body or your lyrics?" and I said, "Lyrics" in my gut. Then he told me, "OK, let's cancel everything." It takes guts to do so! It takes guts for a manager on the verge of being successful with such production to put your good first. This is one of the million reasons why I trust Max.
And today, this last November, I still have the same feeling. We finally put onstage what we had in our minds for a long time. We wanted to make this big, epic, and evocative show where the lyrics had value, where I was central with my body, my paintings, and my singing, but where I could be taken seriously, like a legit. And yes, I have a body and a see-through dress because it makes me feel powerful, but I also wrote the whole show word by word and decided the acts, the music, the atmosphere, the vibe, what I would like to trigger into the audience, the installations to be made in the back. I feel like I got this. It's not for granted. Thank you, Max, Akasha, Mira, Synesthetic Events, and many more.
I'm ready now, more than ever, to see my dreams come true. Because we are not always ready, although we think so. I am where I want to be. I am aware of myself, my flaws, my darkness, my fragilities, but also my strength, my spirit and my soul, my persistence, the fact that I'm not tired yet of changing myself, reinventing things, and building the world that I want around me instead of passively accepting it.
Today, if MTV were still there, I would have submitted my videos and music, and my dream would have been to perform at MTV Unplugged with Fluttering Colours. But times change, and there are other things, and so I'm doing them. And this makes me invincible, although there are so many problems under the surface that nobody knows. Life is hard, life hits you and makes you breathless and just so tiny and powerless. You experience grief, heartbreaks, distance, and insecurities. The only thing I have is love, my music and my art, and I can put it out like that. Knowing that I have people around the world listening to me, supporting me every day, asking me when new music is coming out, and telling me how capable I am to do my job, the job that I sacrificed many things for and that I claim every single day despite all the downs that I face, makes me full. I’ll never stop to believe in it. Don’t dare to give up.
How about you? What dreams are you ready to chase? Share your story, your hopes, and your journey. Stay tuned for the grand finale newsletter and more enchanting surprises.
With love and endless melodies,
BSP ✨